When The Wolf Calls
by Gabriel87
Summary: Light and L find their battle of wits being played on an entirely new battlefield. The question is, how can they tell who is winning? LxLight, during their handcuffed period. Rated M for language and sexual themes.
1. Chapter 1

_Shit. Shit shit shit. _

Light stood by the coffee table, his shoulders stiff and his knees weak. The aspirin should kick in soon, only...

..._his_ body wasn't the problem.

The afternoon sun was quickly fading into evening, streaming through the windows of the shared apartment, filling the room with a soft glow. It was everywhere, warming the carpet, illuminating the back wall, shining off of the glass topped table.

But Light did not see these things.

All he knew was that the light fell on L.

...

They had been awake for 48 hours.

At least, L had been awake. Files and papers lay scattered in front of him, lightly dusted with a fresh layer of cookie crumbs. His eyes never moved from the glowing computer screens in front of him. Hell, they hardly even blinked.

For the tenth time that morning, Light jerked his head up after catching it falling forward. He was tired. He was _exhausted._ His brain seemed filled with cotton, and his head was heavy. So, so heavy...

He roughly rubbed his eyes. Dry again, probably red. He shifted and reached into his pocket.

Since being handcuffed to L, Light found himself carrying the strangest things in his pockets. Saline solution for his eyes, for instance. Aspirin. It seemed to help when his shoulders got stiff. He had even begun carrying cinnamon gum. Light had always found the practice of chewing gum revolting; it gave off the impression of a bumpkin farmer or gawky teenager. Yet even worse was the taste that fermented in his mouth during the long days at headquarters, and he decided that gum was the lesser of two evils.

Light gently tugged at his eyelid and precisely applied three drops of saline on each cornea. He blinked.

Better. Sort of.

"You're tired, Light" said the quiet voice beside him.

Light laughed weakly. "Sorry for letting it show. I promise to be more alert next time."

L bit his thumb, eyes still fixed on the monitor.

"Watari," he said suddenly. "Coffee, if you don't mind."

A silent figure in the background nodded and slipped away.

"I'm surprised," said Light. "Don't tell me that the hours are getting to you too, Ryuzaki..."

"Of course not. The coffee's for you."

"Oh. I see. Thanks."

...

Light's brain was beginning to give up on words. For just a moment, he wondered dreamily if consciousness could actually drip out of your ears. How exactly would that work...

Light's eyes jerked open in response to the clink of a spoon. He didn't even know they had closed.

A bowl of sugar cubes sat by L's hand. He delicately pinched one between his long thumb and forefinger and raised the cube to eye level. He scrutinized it for several seconds. Finally, his bizarre criteria seemingly satisfied, he added the sugar to the coffee and stirred it in gentle circles.

He repeated this odd procedure a few times before placing the very tip of his finger on the surface of the coffee. He brought it to his mouth and tasted it with one darting flick of his tongue. He sighed in satisfaction.

Light realized that his mouth was open. He closed it and cleared his throat.

"Er, Ryuzaki? Didn't you say I could have a cup of coffee as well?"

"Of course. This is yours."

Light blinked. He had only ever taken his coffee black. "Oh, I -"

"Consider this the Ryuzaki special. I put a bit of milk in there too." He slid the cup to him.

Slowly, Light clutched the cup in his hand and peered suspiciously into its depths. "I don't think..."

"I'll think for you. Drink up."

Light wrinkled his nose. "Ok..."

He cautiously put the cup to his lips and tipped back the tiniest sip. It was mistake.

_"Jesus Christ, L!" _he shouted, spitting out the syrupy liquid. "_What the hell did you put in here?"_

L turned to him in confusion.

"Just milk and sugar - it's exactly what I've been drinking. What's the problem?"

_"This is obscene!_ You might as well inject glucose straight into the bloodstream - "

"It would lack the essential element of caffeine. Anyway, I don't think you should judge. I'm not the one falling asleep in my chair. Bottoms up, Light."

Light stared at the cup in horror, but he couldn't escape L's expectant gaze. With a deep, determined inhale, Light closed his eyes and chugged it.

L politely ignored the sputtering coughs that followed.

...

Light was pouting. He hated when L was right.

He was once more alert and ready for action. Yes, his hands jittered a bit, and his mind still fuzzed with static, but after that coffee concoction, he could once more function like a human being.

What a jerk.

He shuffled some papers, pretending to read over a list of expert psychiatrists, but in reality thinking about the detective next to him.

He wondered how L had picked up his grotesque health habits. Yes, beyond all scientific reason, they aided L in his work, boosting the clarity of his mind to godlike levels. But L was not a god _(obviously, because gods promote their health and fitness in order to ensure longevity and thus prolong the extent of their power over mankind. Duh). _There would be a toll to pay, and L's body would pay it. He would shine like the brightest torch, and just as quickly burn out.

Dead.

Light chewed thoughtfully on the end of a pencil. Perhaps Kira's next move should be the most obvious one. Stall the Kira case until L, expending the last of his energy, died from the neglect of his own body. It would be the simplest way, the cleanest, and impossible to trace...

But Light frowned.

_It wouldn't be any fun. _

Yes, Kira would win, but not from superiority. He would be beaten by cake.

Light's ruling passion was to win, and it came to him naturally. But it wasn't _winning_, per se, that gave him the irresistible high which he craved so powerfully. It was knowing that he was better. Knowing that _he_ held the power, that _he_ was the one in control...

He recalled a chess match that he had participated in as a young boy. He was nearing the kill...he was two moves away from a checkmate. He could barely contain his smile, anticipating his triumph with a rush of glee - but then the other boy's mother had called. His grandparents were coming for dinner, and could he fetch some extra groceries? _Oh! No problem, mom. See you later Light...I guess you win this one!_

He had stared at the board. He had won by default. His brilliant positioning squashed by chance, never to be revealed...

Light sat calmly until his opponent had left the room. Then, in one vicious move, he swept the board from the table. The wooden board shattered, the pieces flew across the room and hit the walls before rolling to a stop on the floor. He then stood, calm and cool once more, and picked up the chess pieces one by one. He didn't even notice horrified stares of the other chess students and their teachers.

His jaw clenched, and his fingernails dug into his palms.

_No! Winning by default is the ultimate defeat. _

He suddenly became aware that L was staring at him.

"Okay there, Light?"

There was a sharp sensation in his mouth, and Light realized that he had bitten off the end of his pencil.

"Oh," he said quietly, as he lifted a napkin to his lips and removed the splintered end.

"Sorry L! That was silly of me...I guess the coffee just made me a little jittery...heh! I'll try not to let that happen again."

L still stared, and Light felt himself growing hot.

"If you say so, Light. Here, these pocky sticks are a great pencil substitute."

Light took the package with a grumble and a blush.

...

Another hour had passed. Another hour of poorly stifled yawns and groans from the task force. Another hour of L scrolling through prison locations, news casting timetables, and god knew what else.

Another hour of Light thinking about L.

_What is it about him? Why is he so fascinating?_

Light tapped his chin. It was true that L was a genius, and a particularly impressive one. But then, so was Light himself. Why should he be interested? Perhaps it was the fun: the battle of wits, the chess match...surely it was just the excitement of their little game?

Light gave his companion a fleeting look.

There was nothing there that should have evoked an appreciative glance. L's skin was so pale...even translucent in some places. There was the soft patch under his wrist, and the barest tips of his ears...but the ears were largely hidden under that scruffy black hair of his. It sometimes took all of Light's restraint not to leap from his seat and brush it out with his own fingers. Then there were L's eyes - wide and unblinking, giving nothing away...Light often tried to read them, but without success. And of course the heavy shadows that fell under his eyes. They made him look like a newborn owl. Ha! That was it exactly! A bony, baby owl. It all fit...the protective crouch, the curled toes...mmm. Perfect...

...

L had perfected his technique. He could gaze straight ahead, seemingly absorbed in the task in front of him. But a momentary shift in his peripheral vision could reveal Light by his side.

Light. What an oddity he was next to the ordinary, slightly rumpled men around him. Light was so...how to put it...decorative.

Appearance had never been something that occurred to L, so he took particular interest in Light's value of it. Light always looked elegant. His hair was smooth and shiny, his hands and nails meticulously cared for. Then there was his clothing: always a crisp collared shirt, usually paired with a tie. One of those fancy silk numbers. He even knew how to tie it.

Huh.

Today it was a black shirt. There was no tie, so the first two buttons had been left open. It made a nice change. But these days Light only ever saw the other task force members, and of course himself. Who on earth could Light be dressing for so carefully?

...

Light's regimen of personal care was also a source of interest, and one of the perks of wearing handcuffs was that L could study it up close.

"Hey Light?"

"What is it, Ryuzaki?"

L was showering. Light sat petulantly on the toilet lid, staring at the wall. L had once suggested that he bring a book of sudoku puzzles to occupy himself, but the steam made the pages wilt.

"Can I use your shampoo?"

"I didn't realize it was time for the monthly wash - wait. Did you say _my_ shampoo?"

"I can't find mine."

"What do you _mean_ you can't find - oh."

"Oh?"

"I...put it in the cabinet. I didn't know you were still using it."

"You know I have some standards, Light. So can I use some of yours or not?"

Light scowled.

"Which one?"

"Ok, let me see. Here's coconut...mountain mist...ooh! Apricot guava, please."

"_Are you kidding?_ That's the most expensive shampoo I-"

"I know, but I like it. It's nice on you. And the scent reminds me of something..."

"Apricots and guava, maybe?" said Light, unable to suppress the scorn in his voice.

"No...what is it? Ah - marmalade."

"_Marmalade?"_

"Yes. I used to have it for breakfast on toast. That was before I discovered donuts."

Light kneaded his forehead with his knuckles.

"Go ahead, Ryuzaki," he sighed. "Whatever makes you happy."

"Does that mean I can use this lavender facial scrub too?"

_"Ryuzaki!"_

...

Yes, studying the life and habits of one Light Yagami made for an absorbing project. It could, perhaps, be applied to the Kira case, but even if it couldn't, it was still a pleasant undertaking for it's own sake. It was a true puzzle. There was something there that he couldn't quite put his finger on, some inexplicable quality beyond the clothes, the careful bathing, or the well proportioned body. What could it be...

Sitting next to Light, being beside him every hour of the day, made L acutely aware of his own physical shortcomings. The prominent knuckles of his hands, the bony projections of his hips. Well, it was too late to change. He wasn't born to be an Adonis. But even if he wanted to copy Light's clothing or habits, there was still that mysterious trait that couldn't be replicated.

It was, perhaps, grace. There was a natural flow to every action Light performed. The way he held a pencil, a paper, a coffee cup - who knew that these mundane tasks could evoke such admiration, even pleasure?

He was 21.3% certain that Light may have practiced these graceful hand gestures in the past.

But he was 78.7% certain that Light was simply born lovely.

...

The task force was dropping fast. There were a few scattered pleas for release, but L didn't seem to notice. Eventually the Soichiro Yagami discreetly discussed the matter with Watari, who brought it to L's attention.

"Oh. You guys are tired? Already?"

He was met with blank, dead stares. Matsuda had already started snoring.

"Alright. Go home, fellows. Rest up and be ready tomorrow morning. "

There were vaguely murmured thanks, interrupted by poorly stifled yawns.

"Goodnight, Light," said the senior Yagami. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You too, Father. Give my love to Mother and Sayu."

Soichiro Yagami could only raise his hand in acknowledgement as he stumbled toward the door.

L turned to Light.

"Do you want to stop, too? You look fine to me."

Light popped an aspirin.

"I don't think I could sleep after that...er..._coffee_ you gave me. But what about you, Ryuzaki? You've probably had the least sleep of any of us."

"Does that matter?"

"Of course it does! You - you really should take better care of yourself."

L stared thoughtfully, his thumb resting on his lip. Eventually, he stood.

"If you think so, Light, then I'll agree. I suppose we could both use a break."

He stretched his long limbs, probably for the first time in hours. Light was always surprised to see how tall he really was. It was remarkable.

They entered the lift, and Light leaned back against the faux wood-grain wall. He stared at the fluorescents overhead, hoping for a sudden brain wave of some sort...

But then he looked at L. The little baby owl. He was, perhaps, slightly more hunched that usual, the eyes a bit more dark. He even allowed a yawn to slip out of his pale mouth.

_L...you're turning into a wraith. I can't win if you lose..._

He was surprised at the feel of cotton under his fingertips.

Light stared at his hand, which had somehow reached out to touch L's upper arm. His soft sleeve was a strange contrast to the wiry muscle underneath.

L blinked. "Light?"

"I - ah - sorry, Ryuzaki. I was just thinking about how tired you must be. Look, why don't you take a nap? You can lie on the sofa. I'll be happy to read in the chair next to you. I'm sure there's enough chain length for us to be comfortable."

For just a moment, a touch of pink showed on L's face.

"Thanks Light. I'll take you up on that offer."

They entered their apartment. L stared at the sofa, then threw himself face down onto a pillow and was asleep in seconds.

Light allowed himself a smile and picked a magazine from the table.

But when he heard the soft sigh, it dropped to the floor.

L had turned onto his side, his shirt riding up a bit in the process. A small strip of pale skin came into view. Nothing that anyone would really have noticed.

But then, Light was not anyone. His hands clenched, and he sucked in a deep breath. Suddenly all that he could see was the slim, sinewy figure before him, rich and glowing in the golden light.


	2. Chapter 2

I should have mentioned earlier that both the title and the premise of this story is based on the song Que Je T'aime by Johnny Hallyday.

...

_Snap out of it, Light. You're...you're not attracted to him, are you? No! Of course not! That would be...that would be ridiculous..._

L released a small snore.

_Come on. This couldn't be happening to you now, could it? Remember all of those girls you dated? Weren't they pretty? Didn't you like them? Well, no...but guys? Really? And...and even if I did...L, for God's sake? He's weird, he's messy, he's skeletal, he's the last person I could consider attractive..._

But the light shined on L still, warming the pallor of his skin, highlighting the strange contours of his body... the tendons of his neck seemed more prominent, and a deep shadow dwelt the hollow of L's clavicle. Even the folds and creases of his rumpled clothes seemed to create a fascinating landscape of peaks and valleys, a landscape which Light longed to smooth out with his hands...

_Ok, really Light? Did you really just think that? Freaking clothing landscapes? That sounds like a line from one of Sayu's bad poems. This isn't like you. Maybe...maybe there was something else in that coffee...yeah...that must be it..._

L grunted and burrowed his head deeper into the pillow. A few strands of hair, that stupid, ridiculous hair, fell into his face, the sun making it shine like silk.

_Oh L...you are a funny sort of person, aren't you..._

Light delicately brushed back the strand with the tip of his finger. He shivered - the skin at L's temple was soft. So invitingly soft...Light let his fingertip gently trace the shell of L's ear, then continue down the line of his jaw -

L sighed, and Light quickly drew back. He felt his heart pounding as the detective shifted in his sleep.

_Oh..._

There was L's hip bone.

Between L's baggy clothing and strange postures, the bone would occasionally slip into view. Light had spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking of it. Even at headquarters he would glance at it surreptitiously, wondering about it...was it sharp? Did it hurt? Or...or was it smooth? Pleasant, like a polished river rock?

He swallowed hard. Now was his chance to find out.

He placed two fingers on the gap between L's shirt and the top of his pants. He slid them down. Over the hip bone, then back again...

With astonishing rapidity the muscles clenched under his fingers.

_"Light?"_

L's eyes opened wide, and he swiftly sat up and retreated. He pressed his back against the arm of the sofa, clutching at the fabric, his feet curled with tension.

"Ryuzaki."

Light looked vaguely at the spot in front of him, the spot still warm from L's body.

"Ryuzaki," he whispered. "I wasn't done."

"What the hell are you-"

_"I said I wasn't done!"_

L trembled. "I...you..."

Light stood, stretching his neck with a sigh. This was really quite frustrating.

He lowered himself onto the sofa. He crept forward, his knees smoothing their way between L's legs, placing his hands on L's shoulders.

"Hush now, Ryuzaki."

He slid his hands upwards, cradling the back of L's head, then lunged forward to press his lips to L's mouth.

L whimpered in protest, breathing hard through his nose as he tried to push against Light's shoulders. But Light slid his hands down L's arms, and suddenly L found his own hands clutching at the collar of Light's shirt.

Light opened his mouth, the edge of his teeth caressing L's lips before sliding down to his chin. L closed his eyes. He gasped as he felt Light's tongue on his neck. Timidly, he turned his head to brush his lips against Light's cheek...

At that moment Light leapt from the couch.

"L - Light?" L whispered, his arms still reaching out from their broken embrace.

There was a vicious tug at his wrist.

_"Come on,"_ said Light, as he roughly pulled at the chain connecting them.

With a slight trip, L slipped from the sofa and followed Light into the bedroom.

...

_Oh God...Oh God...I've made a terrible mistake. I can't believe it...how could I do that? Oh God...what will this mean? I've revealed my weakness...Dammit Light how could you be so stupid? You've just walked yourself right into the noose!_

How could he have lost such control? How could his own body have betrayed him so? He hadn't been able to think straight. All he knew was that he wanted L. Strange, scrawny L...he couldn't block the memory of the taut back under his hands, or the ecstatic moment when he reached that sweet, velvety abyss...

_Breathe. Breathe. Don't panic. Not yet. Maybe I can still fix this...maybe...oh hell. How? Ok. Breathe again. L. Remember L. He suspects I'm Kira, but he's not sure. How would he interpret this? Just think...ok. Kira would never reveal a weakness. More than anything else, Kira wants to win. He wants power. He wants control...oh _God_ yes... it would be natural for Kira to gloat...to use seduction to control those in his power...that is what Kira would do. L will be looking for it. So I should be the opposite. Admit I have a weakness...that I've made a mistake...to back off...yes. Besides, that is what Light would naturally do. Polite, modest Light, the detective's son, embarrassed by his desire, his little faux pas..._

...

_That was certainly surprising._

L lay on his side, puzzling this recent, er, experience. It had started strange and unpleasant; initially, the only thing that had kept him going was the delicious sound of Light's groans of pleasure. But afterwards, Light had swiftly kissed his back and flipped him over, making it up to him _oh so nicely..._

For a moment, L was distracted by the memory of Light's defined torso, his strong, commanding hands, his soft lips...

L examined his own hands, barely definable in a patch of moonlight. He had never really looked at them before. Long, bony...they were nothing compared to Light's. Well, nothing of his could compare to Light's. Light was beautiful. Light was the Adonis. Light could have anyone he wanted...

And he had frittered it on him, a wiry, ashen-faced freak.

L frowned. He was 100% certain that he could not be an object of anyone's desire.

_It only makes sense if he's Kira. _

_Given the chance, Kira would certainly find the Achilles Heel of his enemies and exploit it to its fullest extent. He has proved that many times over. Now, suppose Light is Kira. He picked up on my weakness for him. How? Did I share one cake slice too many? Maybe he interpreted the handcuffs the wrong way?_

L bit his bottom lip. Perhaps Light had interpreted the handcuffs in exactly the right way.

_Very well. Let's accept premise one, that Light is Kira. How would his actions tonight fit into his larger scheme? He wants control. I, of course, am the head of the investigation, his main threat. He is trying to use my weakness to control me. A simple distraction technique...he is trying to cloud my mind with his own body. _

L's jaws clenched.

_It won't be that easy, Kira. _

But he wished, for just a moment, that he could pretend it had been real.

...

"I know you're awake, Light."

Light jumped, and then he sighed.

"Yeah...yeah. I...I don't...Ryuzaki..."

"Something wrong?"

"This was a mistake...I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let...this is all my fault..."

"Why the apologies?"

"I...I've completely ruined our working relationship! I can only be a distraction now...perhaps I should leave the investigation..."

_Hmm,_ thought L. _Sly. Nice touch._

"Nonsense. If anything, I feel more clear headed. Thanks Light."

"Oh. Um, well..."

"Hey Light?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

There was a pause.

"Should we go get some cigarettes?"

Light growled in spite of himself.

"You can be a real bastard sometimes, L."

They settled onto their backs, silent, the moon gently outlining their silhouettes, with one thought shared between them.

_Let the games begin. _


	3. Chapter 3

Just wanted to say thanks to those who've been following so far! I'd love it if you would leave a comment or review - they are my invisible internet cookies that keep me going. Also, yay for the horrible psychology joke I slipped in here. I knew my BA would be useful someday :D

...

"This one looks promising," said Light, gesturing at the document in front of him.

They were once more at headquarters, the members of the task force buzzing around them.

"Takeshi Minami, a former Dominican monk who was arrested for slitting the throat of a fellow member of his order, Akio Kimura, along with a nun, Yui Tanaka. He claimed to be working on behalf of God. He was declared unfit for trial due to insanity and has spent the intervening years in a psychiatric prison. The _key_ point, however, is that he was released roughly two weeks before the first known Kira attacks."

L pulled the watermelon lollipop from his mouth with a contented suck.

"Why exactly did he kill them?"

"Apparently Kimura was the nun's confessor and mentor. Minami claimed that God told him that they were lovers, and to strike them down for their sin and perversity. A God complex, punishing those he deems unworthy?"

"Perhaps," murmured L. "However, in my opinion, it sounds less like a crusade for justice and much more personal."

"How do you mean, Ryuzaki?"

"Jealousy. It may have been a love triangle, or more likely, he projected his own longings onto his victims and punished them for it. It's astounding what actions occur when someone has sublimated their sexual desires for so long - don't you agree, Light?"

Light's teeth pulled at his bottom lip.

"I can't say, Ryuzaki. I'm not particularly familiar with those pathologies."

"Mmmh," said L. "What do you think, Matsuda?"

The young man looked wide eyed at the crouching figure in front of him.

"I...I suppose it's possible...but as Light says, the timing does makes things interesting..."

"Light always says interesting things. What steps do you think we should take?"

Matsuda blinked, stammering for an answer.

"If I may," interrupted Light, much to Matsuda's relief, "I suggest that we consult with an expert on this sort of derangement. Matsuda, why don't you compile a database of the top psychologists of Japan? I'm _sure_ that L could use one."

"L, sir?" asked Matsuda softly. "Does that meet with your approval?"

"Sounds fine to me. Oh, Matsuda," called L, turning his head after him, "_I _would prefer to focus on the Freudian specialists. Light, after all, is much to _Jung_ for me."

"Oh...ok..."

Matsuda turned away, wondering if he had caught the trace of a smirk on L's face.

...

As it happened, there was already a list of psychologists available. Matsuda made some simple inquiries regarding their areas of expertise, then grouped the Freudians onto their own nice, neat document.

For a moment Matsuda considered changing the font. Perhaps Verdana would look more professional than Cambria...

No. If Yagami wouldn't sweat over such foolish things, then neither would he.

...

Matsuda walked briskly toward the handcuffed men, hoping that his work would be helpful for once. However, upon reaching them, he held back.

They were _really_ in the thick of it.

"I don't understand why you're ruling this out so quickly, L!" hissed Light.

"Because it's a false lead. You know, you're being exceptionally stupid today."

Light took a breath, willing calmness into his voice. "There is nothing to indicate that it's a false lead. Claiming that the voice of God ordered him to kill? Why wouldn't Minami expand on that, as Kira? Punishing those guilty for other crimes?"

L maneuvered the lollipop into the inside of his cheek.

"Tell me this, Light. Would you consider Minami's killings to be premeditated? Well structured? Or are they more consistent with a crime of passion?"

Light sighed.

"I understand what you're saying, Ryuzaki. But...consider that he brought the kitchen knife with him, hidden in his sleeve. He _clearly_ had planned his crime to some extent..."

"And after he killed them?"

"Well -"

"Don't you remember? The part where he laid their bodies on the altar and was found with them when the police arrived? Was that well planned, coolly plotted out in advance?"

"The report states that he was calm when he was arrested - "

"Exactly. He was _caught_. He made no effort to resist. The absolute reverse of Kira."

Light struggled for an answer.

"But if Kira thinks he is working for God - "

"Light, Kira doesn't think he works for God. He thinks he _is_ God. The murders of those he deems corrupt serve only as a method to boost his ego. He may believe he seeks righteousness, but in reality he seeks _power_. It's like a chess match, Light... have you ever played chess? I can only imagine what a brilliant player you would be. Just _think_ of how intoxicating it feels. The pawns at your fingertips, lunging forward at your command. Each piece is limited, circumscribed by a destined role, but you - _you_ are the one in control. It is _you_ who positions them, time and place, to use them as you will, to slaughter them for the cause...I'm sure that Kira would _thrill_ at such a prospect. And...perhaps Light as well."

Light's mouth hung open, and he stumbled for words.

"I - I can't believe you'd _say_ that of me, Ryuzaki!"

"Is it wrong?"

"I...I..."

"There, there, Light. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Light trembled, feeling the heat of his breath as it hissed through his nose.

_Damn you Ryuzaki..._

L swiftly snatched the papers from the stunned Matsuda, who murmured something about getting tea and slipped away. L tossed the papers to the side and glanced at the boy next to him.

Light was staring at the desk in front of him, his eyes wide and his cheeks scarlet, his beautiful face aglow with confusion...

L slid his tongue over the candy in his mouth, tracing circles over the hard, sweet watermelon...

He felt a delicious shiver travel up his spine.

It was _wonderful_ to watch Light squirm.


	4. Chapter 4

REVIEWS PLEASE? *puppy dog eyes, L style*

...

Light's hands were clenched so hard that he was close to drawing blood with his fingernails. He could actually feel his teeth grinding, and his shoulders shook with rage.

He had done his best to take it. L had needled him, baited him all day, no doubt testing to see if he would acquiesce and comply with his portrayal of the abashed, apologetic young man he was supposed to be.

_You want to see if I'm Kira, L...you want to see if you've stung my pride, if I'll retaliate, rather than roll over and expose my belly like a submissive dog..._

_Well I will retaliate! It's possible that you think Kira would stick to his passive role, no matter what the bait. After all, Kira wouldn't expose his hand so recklessly with needless rage, now would he?_

_It doesn't really matter. I won't be toyed with. I _am_ mad. _

The men entered their apartment, the elevator door closing behind them.

"There's some strawberries in the fridge, Light," said L, as he shuffled towards the kitchen. "Let's go get - _ah!"_

He nearly stumbled as the handcuff cut sharply into his wrist. He turned his head in confusion.

Light was still as stone, his face cold, his eyes mere slits. The only movement was the swinging of the chain that he grasped in his hand.

"What do you think you're doing, Ryuzaki," he whispered.

"I was going to the kitch-"

Light yanked the chain again and L stumbled forward.

"You - you've been toying with me all day. Provoking me. Harassing me. _Humiliating_ me. I never knew you could be so needlessly cruel."

L quirked his head to one side. "I'm sorry?"

"You know what I mean! Rejecting all of my work out of hand - insulting me in front of the others! You made me feel _useless!"_

L stared unblinking into Light's eyes.

Then, with a shrug of his shoulders, he answered.

"Call it an experiment. I was curious to see how my friend Light would react."

Light lunged forward.

"You _shit!_ Did you ever_,_ for _one_ moment, consider how I might be feeling? That I might be feeling anxious, vulnerable, _ashamed?_ That I slept with a man - that I slept with _you?"_

"No, I didn't attribute those feelings to you. Remember, Light, you started all of this. You certainly showed no hesitation yesterday. If anything, it was the opposite."

_"Ryuzaki!"_

"I actually find your supposed bashfulness fairly incongruous with yesterday's events. You revealed an exceedingly dominant nature...I can only think that you're trying to obscure this fact once more, and you are irritated because I haven't fallen for it."

_"What are you saying?"_

"I'm saying that the chance of you being Kira has risen from 58.2% to 67.4%"

Light's eyes grew wide, and his breath choked in his throat.

_"You - you think - after all that - "_

"I'm simply following a logical process Light. I think you can agree that - "

_"Damn you, L!"_

Light hurled forward and punched L in the face.

L fell back, crashing into the wall behind him, crumpling into a heap on the floor. However, he soon righted himself. He gingerly patted his nose, coming away with daubs of blood.

"How dare I?" he whispered, his voice uncharacteristically rough. "Oh no. You were the one who started groping me. _You_ were the one that pinned me down. _You started this whole mess!"_

_"Mess, is it?"_ yelled Light. "You're damned right it's a mess! What was I _thinking?_ How could I have _ever_ wanted a freak like you?"

L hissed.

_"A freak like me?_ I've never pretended to be anything else, Light, and you knew that from the beginning. It was an obvious manipulation tactic. Do you think I'm a _fool?"_

Light roared and charged into him headlong, hurling them both to the floor. He quickly pinned L's arms to the ground.

_"You! You don't know anything!_ You're a machine, L, a cold, spindly robot! No wonder Kira hasn't killed you - you're not even human! _You don't have a heart in the first place!"_

With a sudden burst, L broke free. He threw Light off and viciously backhanded him.

"Maybe I do, and maybe I don't," he panted. "Either way, I don't appreciate people trying to tinker around with it. Especially in such a clumsy manner!"

"Clumsy? _Clumsy?"_

"One of the oldest tricks in the book - "

"Oh! I guess I didn't hear you say that yesterday over the sound of you _calling out my name -"_

"I never wanted this - "

"Really L? _Really?"_ said Light, clutching at L's shirt. "It sure looked to me like you wanted it. You were dying for it. You were _gagging_ for it - "

Once more L threw him off.

Light wrenched at the chain, pulling L to the floor. L, however, quickly did the same. For a few minutes they scuffled, but after the fatigue of the day and their own emotions they soon reached a stalemate. They settled for sitting across from each other on the floor, scowling vaguely in the other's direction.

"I hate you, L," Light panted. "I really, really hate you."

"I have to admit a certain animosity at the moment as well. Never mind, it will pass soon enough."

Light looked up sharply.

"How can you say that? After all of this?" Light murmured.

There was silence as each man caught his breath, and a meditative stillness settled over them. But then L spoke.

"Light," he whispered, "I'm not going to apologize for what I said. It's true enough as far as it goes. However, you've reminded me of one element which I forgot to factor in."

"Oh, really. Pray tell," said Light.

"You may be Kira," said L slowly. "You may not. Regardless, you are a young man - and a strong, vigorous one at that. It's entirely possible that such, er, _feelings,_ which you expressed yesterday, may have arisen naturally. The chance is certainly less than 25%. However...I should respect you enough to recognize it's existence."

A rough bark escaped Light's throat. "Oh! Thanks _ever_ so much for the vote of confidence, Ryuzaki!"

"Of course," he responded, no trace of irony in his voice.

There was silence once more.

"I suppose you want me to apologize for calling you a freak?" Light broke in suddenly.

"If you wish to," said L quietly.

_"No."_

"Mmm. I suppose it's the thought that counts."

Light huffed.

L gave him a quick glance. "Tell me Light - has the blood from my nose reached my chin?"

Light gazed at the detective. For some unknown reason he felt a stab of pain as he watched a red droplet splash onto L's shirt.

"Yes," he growled. "What's more," he added, "you've never looked better."

"Never?"

Light lowered his gaze to the floor and said nothing.

L cleared his throat.

"Well, I'd appreciate the chance to take a shower. Would you mind?"

Light sighed.

"I...I suppose that would be fine."

They raised themselves up. Light watched in annoyance as L vaguely rubbed at his face with his forearm.

"Here, Ryuzaki," Light mumbled, as he plucked a tissue from the box on the table. "You don't want to get blood all over your clothes when you take them off."

L looked at the tissue in front of him before pinching it gently between his fingers.

"Thanks, Light."

...

L disrobed quickly. Light averted his eyes, and he heard the click of the handcuff open and close in record time. Once he heard the slide of the closing shower curtain, Light sullenly took his customary place on the toilet seat. He leaned forward, massaging his temples with the bony heels of his hands. He was tired. He was frustrated. And in some far off corner of his brain...he was sad.

"Hey, Light?"

_"What."_

There was a pause.

"I was just going to say that you're not useless in the investigation."

He growled.

"I _know._ That's why I was so pissed when you pretended otherwise today."

"Gotcha."

The patter of water created a soothing background, and as Light inhaled the steam from the air he slowly felt the tension leave his shoulders.

_Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so mad, _he thought._ L is clever, as clever as they come...I should have been more on my guard..._

L's voice startled Light out of his reverie.

"Are you bored out there?" he asked. "You usually are."

Light sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Honestly, I think I'm still too angry to be bored, Ryuzaki."

Another pause.

"Well...if you were bored...I just wondered if you'd help me."

"Help you?"

"Well...yeah. I owe you a chance to be useful today."

"Help you with what, exactly?" Light murmured.

"Er...in here."

Light's breath hitched.

"Ryuzaki?" he whispered.

"See, there's this one spot in the middle of my back that I can never seem to reach - "

What moments ago was an empty shell suddenly flamed to life.

"I understand completely, Ryuzaki."

"You do?"

"Yes. It sounds serious...I'll be right there."

...

"I can't say how sorry I am, Light..."

They both sat on the bed, L holding ice to Light's quickly swelling toe.

Light allowed a small smiled.

"You've already apologized enough, Ryuzaki. Anyway, it wasn't your fault. It _was_ a pretty awkward angle..."

"Still, I should have factored in the effects of the soap. Look, your toe is blue, now."

"Yeah...but don't worry. You'll find a way to make it up to me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Light reached out his arms.

"Come here, Ryuzaki."

L crawled forward and wrapped his arms around Light, planting a quick kiss on his shoulder.

Their usual calculations could wait. For the moment, they were content to lay together in the soft glow of lamplight, the warmth of their bodies intermingling with the clean scent of apricot guava.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Would you stop slurping your tea?"_

It was Misa's weekly visit. She sat on the couch, curled next to Light, her sweet little face suddenly flaring with rage.

L studied the geometric pattern on the cup in his hand. "I would hardly say that I'm slurping, Amane Misa. Perhaps you are feeling a bit hypersensitive."

"I am _not_!" she shrieked. "Light, tell him!"

"Actually, Misa, I think he's right. He's just drinking tea."

She blushed. "Oh! Well, if you say so...I guess I just got a bit distracted - "

"Don't worry, Misa," said L. "I understand your feelings perfectly. This is your chance to hog Light to yourself, and you resent any intrusion into your fantasy. Such as me sitting here on the other side of the couch."

"_I _hog him? _You're_ the one that gets him 24 hours a day, and for no good reason! Light, I'm so sorry for you, being attached to that freak non-stop -"

"I don't mind, Misa," said Light in a soothing tone. "After all, it's very important for the case - "

"Yes. Don't fret too much for him. Anyway, we've worked out certain methods to keep ourselves amused."

"God!" she shouted. "You sound like such a pervert when you say that!"

L turned to her, his wide eyes gazing at Misa until she blushed and lowered her head.

"What a strange mind you have, Misa. Haven't you heard of chess?"

Light felt a smile inadvertently build under his lips. L hadn't said that chess was how they amused themselves.

Misa pouted and cuddled up to Light once more. They were watching one of her favorite pop programs. As it happened, one of her ads appeared during the commercial break.

"Look, Light! That's the new makeup line we've launched - what do you think? Do you think it's attractive?"

"It's very nice. I'm sure it's selling well."

"If Light likes it, that's all that matters to me!"

...

Amane Misa was devoted to Light.

Initially he had chafed at being held under her thumb - as a fellow holder of a Death Note, she had thrown an unexpected curve ball into his plans. But he had learned to appreciate her. Here was an example of the future, of a world that would bow at his feet, joyfully worshiping the Savior...

So he indulged her. It was amazing how happily she submitted to being his pawn. Even now she was playing her role. He had passed the baton to her, to continue the Kira attacks while he was trapped, handcuffed to L.

He glanced briefly at the chain, following it with his eyes until he saw the cuff circling L's bony wrist. He smiled.

_L, my friend, my little baby owl...who has trapped who, I wonder?_

...

"I suppose it's time for me to go, Light-kun...I have that photo shoot later this afternoon."

They stood near the door, Misa gazing into Light's eyes, Light flexing his hand, as the weight of the chain, still attached to the surly figure on the couch, cut off his circulation.

"I understand, Misa."

"Oh! But...if you want me to stay longer, I'll be happy to cancel - "

"No! I would be a horrible boyfriend if I kept you away from your commitments."

She pouted, her toe tracing circles on the carpet.

"Sometimes," she murmured, "I feel like you don't miss me as much as I miss you..."

"That's beside the point, Misa. We each have our jobs to do right now, and it's important that nothing distract from that."

She stared at him, then she smiled and winked.

"Absolutely! Light-kun is always right. I'll go now, just remember that I love you!"

"Of course."

She threw her arms around him and held him tight, and Light pressed his lips against her temple.

She giggled, then twirled out of the room, giving Light a final wave before the elevator doors closed.

L watched it all.

...

Light sighed and sank back onto the couch.

"I don't suppose you want to keep watching this, Ryuzaki?"

A girl in a gothic lolita costume squealed as someone gave her a panda shaped cookie.

"I would much rather not."

Light clicked off the TV.

L cleared his throat. "It's nice of you to indulge her like that." He nodded toward the television.

"Well...I try my best."

"I've noticed."

Something in the tone caught his attention, and Light glanced at him curiously.

It was then that he noticed L's hands. The tendons were slightly more prominent than usual. His fingers were clenched around the fabric of his knees, his nail beds white with pressure.

A smirk spread over Light's mouth.

_Ha! L! This is just too perfect!_

Light turned his body towards L.

"Are you...jealous?" he purred.

L looked firmly at the carpet, his shoulders drawing closer to each other.

"Why should I be jealous?" he murmured. "Light is his own person."

"So that's why we're handcuffed?" Light said, gently shaking the chain.

L's jaw clenched. "We've gone over this..."

Light laughed softly. "Admit it, Ryuzaki. You are just a little," he crept forward, "bit," he leaned in, _"jealous."_

L blushed.

Light loved it when L blushed. Through the pallor of his skin, the flush diffused into the barest tinge of pink, like the inside of a seashell.

"Well?" he whispered, his breath tickling L's neck.

L bit his bottom lip.

Light grinned in triumph, and - only to make his point, of course - he swiftly flicked his tongue over the soft spot behind L's ear.

"GAHH!"

L's entire body seized up.

_"Ohhh..."_ Light smirked. "Is that a..._sensitive spot?_"

"Try that again and I won't be responsible for your injuries."

Light laughed and bared his teeth, an evil spark in his eyes. His hands crept slowly towards L, eager to explore this new form of torture...

But L was well aware that the best defense was a good offense. He swiftly gripped Light's wrists and pinned him down to the sofa.

It is difficult to say exactly when the rough scuffling that followed transitioned into hungry kisses and eager caresses, but it was soon.

Light surprised himself when a most uncouth noise, somewhere between a sigh and a giggle, sprung from his throat as he felt L unzipping his pants. But then, when L began thrusting against him, clutching his hips with his long, callused fingers, his teeth sinking gently into his shoulder, his hot breath deepening into a groan...Light closed his eyes and sighed.

He reached up and twisted his fingers into L's hair.

_Maybe...for this one moment...I can just be Light..._

...

It was a full moon, and the gleaming lights of the city seemed to glow even brighter that night.

L lay on the bed, transfixed by the luminous pools that flooded through the window and into their bedroom.

Light was sleeping, his head resting on L's stomach. The cool, silken sensation of his hair on L's skin was enchanting...L reached down to stroke it between his fingers. It was like nothing else he had ever experienced.

L. Light. Misa. What a strange little puzzle it was. There was Light at the center, of course. Possibly Kira. Possibly not.

The objective facts lay before him. Light wanted Misa to continue to love him. His tolerance of her childish behavior and the soft kiss he had favored her with made it undeniable.

Yet Light also wanted L to continue to like him, or at least to screw him...

_...had he ever slept with Misa?_

He pushed the thought away.

What mattered was motive.

Perhaps Light cared for Misa. He was certainly the envy of a large portion of Japan. It would be natural for a young man to fall for her charms. If this was the case, Light would be using _him_ for a variety of reasons. To cloud his judgment. To distract from the case. Curiosity. _Boredom._

On the other hand...perhaps Light cared for him...perhaps Misa was simply a cover, so that Light might protect his image as a proper Japanese son...

He quickly tossed the idea. He was too strange for a beautiful boy like Light to care for him in that way.

It was _beyond_ unlikely that Light was truly in love with them both. Besides the fact that L doubted such a situation could ever really happen, no one could battle such conflicting emotions and not show it. And Light was always so calm, so collected...his easy confidence evident through his eyes, through his small, secret smile...

The final, and most likely, possibility was that Light was using them both.

If he was not Kira, Light was simply a sociopath, playing with them for reasons of his own. Power, most likely. Most sociopaths craved it, and such high profile targets as a beautiful celebrity and a celebrated detective would thrill him to no end.

If he _was_ Kira, Light would be using sex and affection to distract him from the case. To give him other things to think about. L shivered...it was true that his attention was being diverted, his mind unwillingly flooded by images of Light, of remembered sensations, of lurid fantasies...

He swallowed.

Why use Misa? Perhaps to appear as a fortunate man, so busy with his coveted girlfriend that there was no way he could be a murderer? But he wasn't all that busy with her now...

To gain the devotion of an already beloved figure, so that his eventual appearance as God and Savior would be even more celebrated?

That would be rather brilliant.

He bit his lip, sucking at it until it grew numb. He groaned.

_Light, Light...I don't understand..._

Light sighed, his breath warm on L's skin.

L shuddered as a sudden pain struck his chest.

The chance of Light being Kira had risen to 78.2%.


End file.
